Beyond or Anywhere in Between
by fireandflood
Summary: A series of moments in Kurt and Blaine's relationship during their year apart. Spoilers for all of season 3.
1. Chapter 1

September 1st 2012

242 days to go

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us? There's more than enough room for you in the moving van." Kurt whispers for what seems like the thousandth time since they woke up a few moments ago. Blaine presses closer to Kurt, nestling his head just under Kurt's chin and pressing a kiss to his collarbone. His response is muffled against Kurt's bare skin as Blaine refuses to let even an inch of distance come between him and Kurt in the precious few moments they have left together. Kurt reaches a hand up and tangles it in Blaine's curls, tugging slightly to urge Blaine to move back just a little bit. "I can't hear you." Kurt shifts his head and brushes his nose against Blaine's in an eskimo kiss as he speaks.

"It's best if I don't." Blaine can feel a lump begin to form in his throat as he speaks, causing his voice to break ever so slightly. "You need to spend some time with your dad and say goodbye to him. I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Oh Blaine, you're never in the way." Kurt slips his hand out of Blaine's tangled hair and cups Blaine's cheek. As Kurt runs a thumb over the smooth expanse of his cheekbone, Blaine closes his eyes and tries to memorize this moment so he can call upon it in later months when times are tough and Kurt won't be here to comfort him.

"You know what I mean, Kurt. We had our time to say goodbye last night; this time is for you dad, not for me." Blaine had never been more thankful for his parents frequent business trips than he had been last night. Burt had begrudgingly allowed them to spend the night together at Blaine's to say goodbye properly.

"It's not goodbye. It's never goodbye for you and me." Kurt whispers fiercely, his eyes burning into Blaine's, "It's just farewell for now." Blaine can feel the tears forming in his eyes and it takes every bit of strength in his body to stop them from falling. He presses his head into Kurt's neck again, savouring the feeling of Kurt's warm body against his own. Both of Kurt's hands drop down to rest on Blaine's lower back and he pulls Blaine even closer.

The trilling sound of Kurt's phone alarm breaks their peaceful silence. Both of their bodies tense immediately at the noise, not wanting to accept what it means. Kurt reaches a hand out and quickly silences the alarm, but neither of them leaves the bed.

"You should get ready. Your dad will be furious if you guys are late getting on the road." Blaine whispers, his lips moving against the soft skin of Kurt's shoulder.

"Not yet." Kurt's voice is alarmingly unstable as Blaine feels the pair of arms wrapped around him tighten even more.

"Kurt, you can't be late." The tears are back again, prickling at the back of his eyes. Blaine had known it would be hard to let Kurt go, but he didn't know it would feel like this – like he was losing a part of himself.

"What if I didn't go? I could take a year off and stay here; Dad always needs help with the shop now that he's in DC most of the week. I could work there for the year and save up enough money that we can get a decent place together in New York next year."

Blaine gently shushes Kurt with a chaste kiss. Blaine pulls back slightly to speak, but their lips still brush together with every word. "Don't be silly, Kurt. You've been dreaming of this day for years. You have a great place to live already, there's no reason for you to stay for a year. You need to go show what big city what they're missing." Blaine moves out of Kurt's grasp, it kills him to do so, but he has to be strong enough for both of them right now.

"I don't want to leave you." Kurt says simply, sitting up as Blaine hands him the clothes that had been strewn all over the floor in their hurry to get to the bed last night.

"Hey now," Blaine sits down on the bed again, brushing a few strands of hair away from Kurt's eyes, "It's just for a little while. You'll be back again at Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and then Spring break. We'll have Skype and texts and phone calls in between. We'll be okay." He presses their foreheads together as they both whisper 'I love you' at the same time.

After Blaine finally coaxes Kurt out of bed and back into his clothes, they stand in the front entrance of Blaine's house for what seems like hours, neither of them willing to give up the sweet caresses and silent promises sealed with kisses. When Kurt finally pulls out of the driveway and disappears down the road, Blaine allows himself a few moments of weakness. He climbs the stairs back up to his room slowly, his feet almost catching on the stairs multiple times. The heels of his hands are pressed into his eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears until he's tucked safely away in the cocoon of his bed.

He closes the door a little too forcefully when he enters the room, the loud noise making him jump in the otherwise silent house. He collapses onto the bed and finally lets himself cry. The blankets and pillows still smell like Kurt, Blaine burrows his head into the pillow that Kurt had been resting on just a short while before, taking comfort in the familiar scent.

Suddenly, his hand comes into contact with something that has a distinctly different texture than the cotton sheets surrounding him. He pulls the pillow back and finds a small scrap of paper covered in Kurt's writing.

_I love you. _

_I love you when I'm in Lima, I love you when I'm in New York, I love you when I'm anywhere beyond or in between._

_Never forget that._

Blaine stares at it for a moment before reaching over to the picture frame resting on his bedside table. Inside it right now is their picture from Kurt's senior prom, they look completely ridiculous (especially Blaine with his frizzy hair) but they're radiating happiness. He fumbles with the clasps on the back for a moment, trying to see through the hot tears that are still forming in his eyes. He rubs at them furiously and wills himself to stop crying. When he finally succeeds in opening the back of the frame, he slips out the photo, places the small bit of paper at the bottom left of the frame, and then puts the photo back. He places it back on the bedside table, right next to the lamp, so Kurt's message and that photo will be the last thing he sees at night and the first thing he sees in the morning.

Blaine feels a buzzing in his pocket just a few seconds after he puts down the frame. When he finally fishes his phone out of his pocket, he sees a new text from Kurt.

_Is it ridiculous that we're not even out of Lima yet and I already miss you so much that it feels like a part of me is missing?_

**Probably. But I started missing you the second you walked out the door, so I'm just as ridiculous as you.**

_I love you._

**I know. I found the note. And I love you too**.

He quickly snaps a photo of the note's new home in the picture frame and sends it to Kurt.

_How many days until I see you again?_

**82, I'll be counting down the days.**

Blaine doesn't need to look up the dates or count days; he's had it memorized for weeks.

_And how many days until I'm back for the summer?_

**242. 242 days until it's over. Then I'll be graduating and we can go to New York together just like we planned. I'll be expecting you to give me the grand tour, you know.**

_242, I'll be counting down the days._

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**Author's Note: **For obvious reasons, this is now an AU. The next chapter has already been written and should be up soon. I'd love to hear your feedback as it is always appreciated. Ta ta for now!_  
_


	2. Chapter 2

October 12

201 days to go

"I got us reservations for six," Tina says to Blaine as they walk through the choir room door. They were the last ones there after glee practice, staying behind to do some a quick run through of their duet for this week's assignment. They're ready to perform on Monday now. Blaine nods in understanding as he crosses the hallway to his locker. "Then the movie starts at – " Tina's sentence is cut off by a loud squeal, sudden laughter, and the sound of running feet. Blaine looks up in alarm and sees Tina launching herself into Mike's arms.

Mike - who has been in another state for university.

Mike - who has clearly come back for the weekend with the sole purpose of spending time with Tina.

He tries not to be jealous, but it doesn't exactly work. He misses Kurt. Blaine hasn't felt completely whole since the day Kurt left. They're making it work with Skype and phone calls and texts, but it's still difficult. He's aware that Kurt has a huge paper due on Monday. It's his first big assignment in university and Blaine knows that he's determined to make it perfect. So they haven't spoken as much this past week because of Kurt's paper and Blaine's commitment to his duet with Tina. Blaine hadn't realized how much that lack of communication has been affecting him until now. He quickly looks down and tries to shove his books into his messenger bag as quickly as possible in order to give them privacy.

"Hey Blaine." Mike's voice breaks through his thoughts. He looks up just as Mike wraps him up in a slightly awkward one-armed hug. Tina has tucked herself into his side and obviously wouldn't let go other his other arm.

"Hey Mike." Blaine says warmly, a smile gracing his face despite his inner turmoil. He'd always liked Mike; they'd had a good friendship last year. They had spoken over facebook a few times in the past month too. It was good to see him again.

Blaine turns back to his locker as Mike starts speaking to Tina again. "I thought I could take you out tonight. I have to leave tomorrow afternoon, so I got us reservations for dinner. Is that okay?"

"Oh." Blaine hears Tina's disappointment in that one word and quickly schools his face into a neutral expression before turning around.

"Don't worry about our plans, Tina. Mike's only here for one night. We'll do something next week." Blaine smiles at her, it's forced but hopefully she won't be able to tell the difference.

"But it's your birthday." Tina protests weakly, looking between Mike and Blaine. He can tell that she's torn. She clearly doesn't want to ditch Blaine on what is supposed to be a special day, but Mike's only in town for one night.

"And we can celebrate next week. My parents didn't really want me to go out tonight anyway. They got home from the business trip early this morning to surprise me." The lie slips through his lips easily. Blaine hates lying, but he doesn't want Tina to feel bad. If the positions were reversed and Kurt was the one visiting, he'd want Tina to let him take a rain check on their plans.

"If you're sure…" Tina says slowly, like she's not completely certain yet.

"Of course I'm sure. We'll do something next Friday and by then we'll be able to celebrate the successful completion of our duet too. It's perfect." Blaine smiles at Tina again, hoping that it'll be enough to convince her. He knows how much she's missed Mike; they've spent hours together moping about the woes of long distance relationships over ice cream. She needs this time with Mike and Blaine certainly isn't going to be the one to take it away from her.

"Sorry man." Mike finally speaks up again, a guilty look on his face. "I completely forgot it was your birthday."

"Don't worry about it." Blaine quickly jumps in. "Have a good time tonight." He closes his locker and waves goodbye to them both as he sets off down the hallway.

"Happy birthday!" They both yell in unison as he walks away.

The house is uneasily quiet when Blaine gets home. He's usually pretty good with silence but it doesn't feel quite right today. He hits the power button on the stereo in the living room, allowing whatever CD is in there to play. He's pleased when the gentle strumming of an acoustic guitar filters through the speakers and breaks the eerie silences that had been filling the house.

He wanders through to the kitchen, contemplating what he could make for dinner tonight. Blaine dumps his school stuff unceremoniously on the counter before walking over to fridge. He stands in front of the open door for a few moments, willing food to appear, as it seems the empty shelves are mocking him. The lack of food hadn't been too big of a problem before, as he'd planned to go out for dinner with Tina tonight, now he'd wished he had remembered to stop by a grocery store on the way home.

Blaine hears the dull vibration of an incoming text message on his phone from where it's still nestled in his coat pocket, which is currently residing on the kitchen counter. After fumbling around for a moment, he sees a new text from Kurt.

_Happy birthday, my love! I wish I could call you and say all the sappy things that a boyfriend is meant to tell you on your birthday, but I know you're out with Tina and I don't want to interrupt. Have a wonderful time and eat a slice of cheesecake for me. Call me later if you have a few moments._

Blaine smiles but he quickly feels a lump forming in his throat to accompany the pain in his chest that comes from missing Kurt. He doesn't bother texting back, instead he hits the call button and hopes that Kurt isn't in the middle of something.

"Blaine!" Kurt's surprised voice sounds through the small speaker in the phone, hearing Kurt's voice cheers Blaine up almost instantly.

"Kurt!" Blaine can't help but tease him by mimicking his boyfriend's surprised tone.

"Stop that," Kurt says with a laugh, "I thought you were out with Tina? Or are you not going out until later tonight? I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"Hey, hey, slow down a little. You're not interrupting anything." Blaine hopes they can just leave it at that. He doesn't want Kurt to feel bad about Blaine spending his birthday by himself, but he knows he couldn't lie to Kurt if he asked.

"Oh, so you're going out later then?"

Blaine's pretty sure that his silence tells everything that Kurt needs to know. Judging by the sharp intake of breath he hears a few seconds later, his assumption would be correct.

"Oh Blaine…" The dismay in Kurt's voice is heartbreaking.

"Mike's in town." Blaine says by way of an explanation. He doesn't want Kurt to blame Tina; she'd done nothing wrong.

"You shouldn't have to spend your birthday by yourself." Kurt tries to argue.

"It's okay, Kurt. You know I like spending time by myself. It gives me time to think." He ignores the feeling in his stomach that tells him he really doesn't want to be alone on today of all days.

"You're not supposed to be alone on your birthday, Blaine. Don't be ridiculous."

"Well I am alone and there's nothing I can do about it. So excuse me for trying to look at the bright side a little." Blaine huffs.

There's another beat of silence and suddenly Blaine feels awful for snapping.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap." Blaine leaves the kitchen and slowly trudges up the stairs to his room. When he gets there he sees the frame on his bedside table with their prom photo and the note Kurt had left him, a wave of melancholy washes over him. "I really miss you." Blaine sprawls across the bed as he speaks, wrapping his arms around the pillow that Kurt had always used when they spent the night together. It no longer smelt like him, the scent of Kurt's shampoo and moisturizer had long since been replaces with the generic scent of laundry detergent, but just knowing that this pillow had been reserved for Kurt offered Blaine a little comfort.

"I miss you too." Kurt's response is quiet and Blaine almost doesn't hear him, but it's there.

"We've never gone this long without seeing each other."

"Well there were a full seventeen years before we met so, yes we have." Kurt laughs a little but there's no spark, no life in his voice.

"You know what I mean." Blaine tries to force a smile on his face before remembering that Kurt can't see him and giving up all together, "Tina was so happy when she saw Mike. I didn't want to feel jealous, I hate feeling jealous." Blaine pauses to draw in a shaky breath "God Kurt, it hurt so much."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I had everything planned out. I was going to come down and meet you after school today. I booked a reservation at this gorgeous place in Columbus months ago; it was going to be perfect. Then I got this stupid paper for music history and I tried to rush through it but when I sent it to my TA, she said it wasn't up to university standards. So I had to cancel everything and god Blaine, I'm so sorry. I should be there, I should have worked hard on my paper and made it back to Lima for the weekend."

"You were going to come back?" A lump had formed in Blaine's throat at Kurt's words.

"Of course. Did you honestly think I would miss your 18th birthday?"

Yet again, Blaine lets his silence speak for him.

"Blaine, you are everything to me. I'm so sorry that I let this paper get between us this week but please don't forget that."

Blaine nods before remembering yet again that Kurt can't see him. Kurt's laughter rings through the phone, teasing Blaine about nodding and he can't believe that he has this – that he has someone who was willing to travel 500 miles to be with him on his birthday, someone who knows him well enough to remember that Blaine always forgets he's on the phone and answers questions in nonverbal manners.

"I want you to do something for me." Kurt speaks again after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"Anything."

"Well I'm glad you're willing to do anything for me. I'm make sure to remind you that you said that later in life when you refuse to take out the garbage."

"Very funny." Blaine says sarcastically but the smile on his face isn't forced anymore.

"I'm going to hang up and you're going to order a pizza that's half pepperoni with extra mushrooms and half Hawaiian with extra pineapple even though you hate pineapple. I'm going to order one too even though I hate mushrooms. Then we're going to go on skype and have a skype date with our shared pizza. I can't be with you physically right now and this might not be the most glamorous of celebrations but I'm not going to let you sit mindlessly in front of the TV on your birthday."

"I don't want you to waste your night, Kurt. You should work on your paper." Blaine insists weakly.

"Don't you dare. My paper can wait, I have all weekend." Kurt pauses for a moment, "Have you opened your gift from me yet?"

"Not yet. I was waiting until you said I could." The package had arrived a week ago, but Kurt had sent specific instructions for Blaine to wait.

"Don't open the gift yet, but open the note on top while you're waiting for the pizza. Happy birthday, my love." Blaine hears before the line goes dead.

He moves silent over to the desk when the package had been waiting for a week with a top taped to the top and opens the envelope with shaking hands.

_I love you._

_I loved you when you were 17, I love you when you're 18, I'll love you when you're 80. I'll love you when you're beyond or anywhere in between._

_Never forget that._

A smile spreads across Blaine's face and his heart feels a little more full than it had this morning, He pulls out his phone and quickly shoots a text to Kurt.

**How many days until you're back for the summer?**

_201, I'll be counting down the days._

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__**Author****'s**** note:**As always, feedback is much appreciated. Thank you for reading and have a lovely day!


	3. Chapter 3

November 22, 2012

160 days to go

Blaine feels like a caged animal.

He paces back and forth in front of his bedroom window; the sound of rain pelting against the glass only serving to further his agitation. He's starting to learn how to cope with Kurt being so far away. It's still difficult, but they've worked out a schedule now and with each passing day they get closer to summer.

But that's not the problem right now.

That's not the problem because Kurt is currently in Ohio, 20 minutes from Blaine's house, and _Blaine can't be with him._

On a normal year, Blaine loves Thanksgiving. An entire day dedicated to being thankful, to remember all the good things in life, he thinks it's great. It's also one of the only times that his family eats dinner together and Blaine usually loves that.

_Usually._

Today, he's less than thrilled about it.

Today, there's nothing he wants to do less than be trapped inside, stuck away from Kurt. His family is insisting that he stay here for dinner and their customary after dessert games night. Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, in the logical part of his brain, he understands why his parents won't let him spend Thanksgiving with Kurt. It's always been a family day for them and that shouldn't change now, but Blaine's been choosing to ignore the logical part of his brain.

He's angry and upset.

All he wants is to see his boyfriend, who he hasn't even been in the same state as him for over two months. Why is that such a tall order?

_It hurts to be away from you when I'm in New York, but it hurts to be away from you even more when I know you're only 20 minutes away._

Blaine smiles when he sees Kurt's text, glad to know Kurt feels the same way so he isn't being completely ridiculous. They might not be able to see each other until Saturday (Kurt had already promised the entirety of Black Friday to Mercedes) but they could still text. They would still be able to crawl into bed at night and whisper to each other through the phone as they hide under their covers together. It's by no means ideal, but it will get them through the next two days.

**I know exactly how you feel.**

* * *

November 24th, 2012

158 days to go

It feels like coming home when Kurt's arms are finally wrapped around him. In a sense, Blaine thinks, he is coming home. He'd realized last year that his home isn't a physical place anymore, his home is a person.

His home is Kurt.

"Shhh," he hears Kurt murmur gently as Blaine presses his face into Kurt's neck, "It's alright." Blaine is vaguely aware that his body is shaking, that Kurt is probably able to feel the hot tears soaking into his skin. He can't control it though, he's not even sure what emotion's he's feeling right now, but they're just too overwhelming. The feel of Kurt's body molded against his, the faint scent of Kurt's cologne mingled with the ever-present scent of his shampoo, and the feeling of Kurt's slender fingers running through his hair, it's all too much for him to handle.

"I missed you," his lips move against Kurt's cool skin. He wants to bite back the words as soon as they roll off his tongue. They're not enough. They don't convey the sleepless nights where the empty feeling in his chest and the heavy weight in his stomach were too much to handle. The hours spent daydreaming in class about seeing Kurt again. Or the tears shed when he feels so utterly alone and just wants Kurt's arms wrapped around him.

Just like they are right now. Suddenly Blaine doesn't feel so alone anymore.

How are you supposed to explain all that to someone?

"God, if only you knew, Blaine." Kurt's voice sounds thick and unnatural, like he's holding back tears.

"Knew what?" Blaine pulls back slightly, enough to be able to see Kurt's face but still have their bodies pressed as closely together as possible right now. It's his first time looking at Kurt in person since the beginning on September – he'd pulled Kurt into an embrace the second he had stepped out of the car earlier, not bothering with examinations – he looks older, hardened somehow.

"How much I missed you. I can't-" Kurt's words are cut off. He presses his forehead against Blaine's squeezing his eyes shut. "There aren't words for it." He finally gets out.

Blaine raises a hand and skims his finger gently over the bags under Kurt's eyes. "You're tired," he cocks his head to the side slightly, "why are you so tired?"

"I feel like I haven't slept in a week." Kurt admits, shivering slightly as a cool wind picks up. Blaine runs his hands up and down Kurt's arms in a futile attempt to warm him. The wind doesn't fade. It catches the few golden leaves left on Blaine's front lawn and carries them across the road.

"Come on." Blaine slips his hand into Kurt's and tugs slightly, leading them both towards the house.

"We have brunch reservations." Kurt stops walking and tries to pull Blaine back to the car.

"Well I for one would much rather cuddle with you under a blanket in front of the fireplace with tea. And maybe have a nap. That sounds much better than brunch to me."

The smile that graces Kurt's face is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Later, when they're sitting on the rug by the fireplace in Blaine's living room, a blanket over their laps and Blaine's arms around Kurt, Blaine asks Kurt why he hadn't been sleeping.

"When I was in New York, it was stress from midterms and papers. Here, it's because I've been so impossibly close to you, but I couldn't see you until today."

Once again, Blaine is terrified of how much they need each other. The prospect of spending over 150 days apart when they've struggled so much with this first stretch is so daunting that it leaves Blaine feeling like a scared child, cowering under the bedcovers from a monster in the closet.

"Christmas will be here soon. We'll be able to spend so much more time together then."

They trade secret whispers of all the things they'll do together over Christmas until their eyelids grow heavy and the warmth of the fire lulls them to sleep.

When he walks back inside from saying another painful goodbye to Kurt the next morning, Blaine finds a note propped up against the clock on the mantle place.

_I love you_

_I love you when we go out to fancy restaurants. I love you when we stay at home and fall asleep in front of the fire. I love you when we do something beyond or anywhere in between._

_Never forget that. _

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**Author****'s**** note:**As always, feedback is much appreciated. Thank you for reading and have a lovely day!


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